Guarded (Alpha Sigma Omicron #5)

Chapter Twenty-One

It became our routine.

Voight and I would go outside early in the morning to play. Tulog na tulog pa si Gotham samantalang nasa parke na kami ng kanyang anak. The condominium building has its own park for the residents.

Umaga pa lang, hakot na ni Voight ang kanyang mga laruan sa parke. Bitbit ko ang toy truck niyang p’wedeng sakyan habang nasa ibaba kami. It was heavy, at the same time, he would want me to carry him.

Mabuti na lang, naimbento ang elevator. Dalawang truck pa ang gusto niyang dalhin, I just bargained with him.

I was just there to watch him play.

Sometimes, he would ask me to play with him. But mostly, he enjoys playing alone with his toys in the park. Nakasunod lang ang tingin ko sa kanya habang naglalaro, madalas na inuusisa niya ako kung pinapanood ko pa siya.

Madalas niyang gustong makipaglaro sa akin kapag nasa penthouse kaming dalawa.

Paikot – ikot siya sakay ng truck, samantalang iniwan niya sa akin ang backpack niyang dala. Binilhan ko na siya ng kanyang sariling wallet, hindi iyong nilalagay niya ang kanyang pera sa brief.

Turo daw iyon nina Badiday para kahit higitin ng snatcher ang dalang bag, may pera pa ring nakatabi.

That’s very clever, I wouldn’t suspect the underwear either.

May pailan – ilang bata na rin ang nasa parke kasama ang kanilang mga yaya, iyong iba naman ay binabantayan ng magulang na sa phone nakatutok ang mga mata. Most of the residents are wealthy. The area is for the rich conglomerates.

Voight doesn’t like to play with kids. Mapili siya sa mga kalaro. His usual playmates were the girls, Badiday, Vikray and Bebang. He was also mentioning a friend named Freedom. Wala siyang pakialam sa ibang bata.

He has his own space to play with and he doesn’t like to share his space, but he wouldn’t prevent other kids from playing in his space. Siya ang nag-aadjust. Once there are other kids hanging around his area, he would simply go find another vacant one.

He doesn’t like inconvenience. Hindi siya magulo pagdating sa plagyground, gusto lang niyang maglaro ng siya lang.

My eyes focused on them when a kid bigger than him approached Voight. The kid was talking to him, but Voight just ignored him and continued playing with his car truck.

He stopped Voight again with the same result. He was ignored for the second time.

Napatayo ako nang itaob niya ang toy truck ng alaga ko. Voight simply stood and tried to get inside his truck, but the kid snatched it away from him. I was watching him intently how he would solve the problem.

Ayokong pumatol sa mga away – bata. That kid was twice as the size of Voight, he seemed to be more mature, but he was still picking a fight with younger and smaller kid.

Lumingon ako upang hanapin ang yaya o magulang ng bata. I wanted to talk to the guardian to end it in a civilized way.

Nang bumalik ako ng tingin, umiiyak na ang batang lalaki, nakasakay na ulit si Voight sa kanyang truck.

I walked toward him. “What happened?” Pumantay ako.

Inilahad niya ang kanyang kamay, hinipan ko naman ang palad niyang may dumi. Pinahid ko iyon ng tissue. Ginamit niya iyong pantuon nang itulak siya ng bata. Pinagpagan ko ang kanyang suot na komportableng pajama.

“Masakit?” He shook his head. “Anong ginawa mo roon sa bata?”

Ngumisi siya. “I bit his arm because he’s a-annoying! He w-wanted to take my t-toy!”

It wasn’t exactly right, but that’s I wanted him to do. He can’t bite a child unprovoked, but if a child did something bad to him, he should defend himself. Voight has his tantrums, but he isn’t an annoying type of kid in the playground.

Marunong siyang mag-share lalo na sa mga kalaro niya, pero hindi sa stranger. Voight would share if he feels comfortable to the children playing with him. It’s not accessible to all.

I wish most parents can teach their kids how to handle rejection in the early stage of their lives. They are not entitled to another kid’s toys.

I stumbled to the ground when someone pulled my hair from behind. Voight jumped from his seat to bite the one pulling my hair. Madali siyang naitulak nito. I was able to grip the hand and twisted it as I recovered from stumbling.

Narinig ko ang pagsigaw nito.

Hinarap ko naman ang babae. Sa likod niya, nagtatago iyong batang umaway kay Voight kanina. This must be the mother, she looked pretty decent with her nails polished and sophisticated outfit.

One thing that some wealthy people couldn’t buy is class. She could’ve talked to me about her problem and sorted it out like adults, but instead, she pulled my hair.

Tinulungan kong itinayo si Voight at pinagpagan ang kanyang damit. His eyes were a bit teary. Bahagya siyang yumakap sa akin. I kept caressing his back. Kinuha ko naman ang kanyang truck, isinakay ko siya roon.

The woman was whispering things I didn’t want Voight to hear. It was nasty. I didn’t want those things to retain to him…

“Play with your truck… I’ll just talk to someone.” Hinaplos ko ang kanyang pisngi. “Gusto mo bang ipagluto kita ng pancakes mamaya?”

Voight nodded.

“Okay. We’ll have pancakes later. Maglaro ka muna…” Pinaandar naman niya ang dala niyang truck patungo sa space na wala masyadong bata.

Hindi naman siya nang-aabala sa iba, wala siyang inaaway na bata. He was just minding his own business by playing on his own. Pinanood ko siya hanggang makalayo siya ng bahagya.

“What’s your problem?” I asked the woman.

“You. A parent like you is my problem.”

“Tell me about it…” I smiled. “Oh, because I’m such a problem to you, you’re going to get violent on me. It’s a nice example to your child. I could see where he got that behavior.”

“Excuse me?! Your child is the one who started it! Inaway ng anak mo ang anak ko!” She shouted in my face.

“If you payed attention to your child, you would’ve known… iyong anak mo ang nagsimula ng gulo dahil sa laruang para sa anak ko. Have you even seen my child? He’s half smaller than your child. Magsisimula na nga lang ng away ang anak mo, siya pa ang may ganang umiyak at magsumbong.”

Hindi ko na rin itinuwid ang kanyang sinabi… hindi ko anak si Voight pero sa pagkakataong ito, aakuin ko ang responsibilidad.

“Ikaw naman pala ang may problema. You aren’t teaching your child to share his things to other children.” Idinuro pa niya ako.

“If he wants to share, he could. If he doesn’t want to, he shouldn’t. Teach your child that the world doesn’t revolve around them, they aren’t entitled to another child’s toys. Teach him to accept rejection instead of getting violent if they don’t go their way.” I told her firmly.

“Do you want to know what I would teach my child? The next time your kid gets violent and push him again, I’ll instruct him to bite harder.” Ngumiti ako bago ko sila iwan sa playground.

“I would tell this to the management!” She screamed harder.

“Go ahead,”

Sino bang tinakot niya? Certainly not me.

I had been through a lot to be intimidated by such weak threat.

Pinuntahan ko si Voight. He still wanted to ride his truck while we roam the neigborhood. Hinayaan ko naman siya, nakakapagod siyang kargahin at bitbitin ang kanyang truck.

We went to some shops and he bought toys with his own money. Dumako rin kami sa grocery store. He asked me to get our supplies. Napailing na lang ako, sinunod ko naman ang kanyang sinabi.

He was the one going to pay for it. It was funny knowing Voight has more money than me. Kayang – kaya niyang bilhin kahit pagkatao ko.

Umikot – ikot naman siya sa mga aisle gamit ang kanyang truck, I just put a balloon on him so I could track him if we are going in line.

Inilagay ko lang ang mga paborito ng mag-ama. When he came back, he has lots of goodies on his truck. Mayroon siyang blue basket na nasa harap. Dumako siya sa fruit section.

“Are we good? Shall we pay these items?”

“Y-yes!” We went to the counter to pay.

He has his card on his wallet, that’s what I used to pay for the goods. It would be deliver it to us to the penthouse. Napagod na si Voight kaya nagpabuhat na siya sa akin, samantalang bitbit ko naman ang truck niyang sinakyan.

“Did you have fun in the park? May masakit ba sa’yo?”

Halos hindi na ako makahinga sa sobrang higpit ng kanyang yakap. Parang ayaw niya akong pakawalan, hindi ko naman siya iiwanan doon.

“Let’s go t-tomorrow again!” Sumandal siya sa aking balikat. “Fili, I’m h-hungry.”

“I’ll make you some pancakes.”

Pinaglaruan niya ang aking buhok nang pumasok kami ng elevator. Bumungad sa amin ang magkasalubong na kilay ni Gotham. He still looked sleepy with his robe.

“Where have you two been?”

“S-secret, daddy!” Voight giggled.

Bumaba siya upang tumungo sa kanyang ama, tinakbo niyang pagitan nilang dalawa upang magpakarga. I went to the kitchen to cook some pancakes for them. I heard the giggles and laughs.

I almost jumped when I felt an arm encircling around my waist. Gotham hugged me from behind. He didn’t say anything and just rested his head on my shoulder. I was a bit nervous that my body was going to betray me…

Masyado siyang malapit sa akin, ramdam ko ang kanyang paghinga.

“I missed you a lot, wife.”

***

We had a movie night as requested by Voight. Siya rin ang pumili ng movie na panonoorin namin. They were fighting earlier with the movie they wanted to watch. Sinamaan ko ng tingin si Gotham, ayaw niya magpalamang sa anak. Ako ang naging mediator ng dalawa.

It was Voight’s turn and chose an animated film. Sa susunod na movie night, si Gotham naman ang pipili ng movie na papanoorin namin. He wanted to watch a horror movie.

I made popcorns and some milk shakes to go with our movie marathon.

“Daddy, this is my p-popcorn! I don’t want to s-share it with you! You’re b-big, get yours!” Voight was getting annoyed.

Lumipat siya ng tayo sa tabi ko, malayo kay Gotham na inaasar na naman ang anak. Napailing na lang ako. It was a constant scene in the household. Gotham has always been annoying.

Inilagay ni Voight ang popcorn niya sa shared space naming dalawa.

“You can have my p-popcorn, Fili.” He nudged me. “We can s-share.”

Nagkatinginan naman kaming dalawa ni Gotham. He looked at his son and pouted.

“What about me?” Gotham asked him.

“No, it’s o-only for us, daddy. There’s p-popcorn in the kitchen!”

“You used my money to buy that popcorn,”

Voight glanced at him with a side-eye. “It won’t be a p-popcorn if Fili didn’t fry it. You can’t f-fry, daddy. You’re going to b-burn our house!”

“Shall I declare the winner?” Tumikhim ako. Nagsimula na ang movie. “Voight won by a landslide.”

Pumalakpak si Voight sa pagkapanalo niya.

Mas lalo namang nanlumo ang mukha ni Gotham. Hindi ko siya pinansin. My eyes focused on the screen of the movie, the little one’s attention was on it, too. Still, my husband was sulking that he lost.

First few minutes, Voight was still munching his popcorn. He would give some to me. I was eating a few while feeding the rest to Gotham. Wala nang gusot ang kanyang noo.

Voight stopped eating his snacks halfway the movie. Hindi niya na rin pinansin kung pasimpleng kumukuha ng popcorn ang kanyang ama. He was engulfed by the scenes, I tried feeding him once in awhile.

Sumandal naman si Gotham sa aking balikat. Hinawakan niya ang aking kamay at pinagdaop ang aming daliri. His eyes were already closed.

I just let him sleep while holding my hand, bahala na siya mamaya kapag pinagalitan ng kanyang anak.

Lumingon sa akin si Voight nang matapos ang movie. He was grinning with satisfaction. But it shifted fast to annoyance seeing his father sleeping. Natawa naman ako.

Sumampa siya sa akin, he wrestled with the sleeping man and tickled his father. Nakaantabay naman ako sa kanyang likuran upang hindi mahulog ang bata. Halakhak ni Voight ang pumailanlang sa buong theater room.

He’s a happy kid with his father… and spoiled.

“I w-want this a-always…” He told his father.

“What do you want always, son?”

“T-this… we w-watch movies… we p-play…” Voight pouted. “Fili, I want to s-sleep beside you and daddy on the other s-side.”

Ngumisi si Gotham. “You’re the best, son. Do you want a new toy?”

Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin.

“I want a y-yacht, daddy.”

My eyes widened. Parang laruan lang ang hinihingi niya sa ama. A yacht?

“We can arrange that with your Uncle Sioux…” Papanawan yata ako ng ulirat sa usapan nilang mag-ama.

“Let’s p-play on the yacht, Fili!” He exclaimed.

Lumipat na siya ng tayo sa akin at lumambitin sa aking leeg. His hugs were always tight. Pinainom ko siya ng tubig. He had taken lots of sweets. Kinukulit naman niya ako sa pagpunta ng yacht.

“Okay. But they are going to still process it, right? Matagal pa iyon…” Sumulyap ako kay Gotham.

“Daddy, can we g-go next w-week?” Hiling naman ni Voight. “P-please…”

It was a case closed, the secret word had been told. Isang please lang ng kanyang anak, lumalambot na ang puso ni Gotham. Seeing their interaction warmed my heart a bit, at least, I knew that they created a bond… and…

Huminga ako nang malalim.

“I’ll ask your Uncle Sioux.”

Bahagya akong balisa, isa lang ang pumapasok sa isipan ko kapag nabanggit ang yacht. All my good memories in a yacht was tainted now. Russle wanted to stay in that yacht, I should’ve listened.

Masakit na bumabalik ang alaalang may halo ng pait.

I felt a hand clasping with mine. Pinisil ni Gotham ang aking kamay.

***

“I received a call from the management, there’s a complain about a mother and son who terrorized the playground according to them…” Gotham crossed his arms, urging us to tell him what happened.

I was putting lotion to Voight’s hand as he planned to swim in the pool inside the penthouse. Mayroon ding pool na para sa lahat, but the penthouse has its own perks. Voight wouldn’t like to go to a public pool.

Nagkatinginan kaming dalawa ni Voight. I was expecting that from the woman. Medyo natagalan lang ang babae. Nalimutan ko iyong i-mention kay Gotham.

“A kid wants to r-ride my truck, I i-ignored him, daddy. He p-pushed me so I… I b-bit him!” Voight explained to his father.

He looked at me to verify the truth, I just nodded. It’s what exactly happened. He bit the kid because he was pushed by the child trying to get his toy truck.

I wouldn’t necessarily blame the kid for his actions, it’s the parents to be blamed but I wouldn’t blame Voight for his response either.

“Son, you learned taekwondo…”

“Not a w-worthy opponent, daddy.” Gotham smirked hearing his son’s answer. “I want to s-swim already!”

Binuhat ko naman siya at dinala sa pool. Sumunod sa amin si Gotham. Agad na bumaba si Voight upang magtampisaw sa tubig.

Hinarap ko si Gotham. “Nawala sa isip kong sabihin iyon sa’yo. It wasn’t Voight’s fault. He defended himself… as I would in that kind of situation. He has tantrums… a bit spoiled… but he was behaved that time and wasn’t being mean to other kids.”

“He’s a good kid, Fili… just needed proper guidance.” Ngumisi siya. “That kid had an audacity to ask him, he wasn’t even sharing his food to me.”

Pinigilan kong ngumiti. That’s true. He wasn’t sharing anything to Gotham. But he was giving me his food, buying me the stuff he liked because he thought I wanted it, his attitude towards me was becoming better.

“Let’s s-swim!” Voight was already in the water.

Bumaling ang atensyon ko sa kanya na kumakaway sa akin. S’yempre, marunong na ring mag-swimming si Voight. Gotham enrolled him into different classes like self-defense, swimming and educational lessons.

“I’ll be there in a minute…”

Napasigaw na lang ako nang naramdaman kong tumaas ang aking katawan sa ere kasabay ng pagbagsak ko sa tubig kasama si Gotham. It created water splash around. Buhat pa rin ako ni Gotham nang bumagsak kami sa pool.

Pasimple kong kinurot ang kanyang braso. I gave him a death glare. Voight was giggling. Agad siyang pumulupot sa akin.

“Let’s c-chase daddy, Fili…” bulong niya sa akin na rinig naman ng kanyang ama.

Gotham was smirking. Inunahan na niyang tumakbo paalis sa aming tayo. Kinampay pa niya ang tubig na tumama sa amin ni Voight. Kanina pa niya ako iniinis, kaya hindi ko tinanggihan ang hamon niya.

I was as competitive as him.

Hinabol ko siya habang nakasabit sa aking leeg si Voight. “T-throw me, Fili. I’ll get daddy!”

Sinunod ko ang kanyang sinabi. After throwing him to Gotham, hinigit kong muli si Voight upang hindi niya kami maabutan ng kanyang ama. Dinala ko siya sa hagdan ng pool.

“Time out!” We both said in unison.

Parang pinagsakluban naman ang ekspresyon ng asawa ko nang umalis kami ni Voight sa pool. Sinubuan ko si Voight ng fresh fruits na inihanda ko para sa kanya. I was dipping it in chocolate fondue.

Matapos ang ilang laps, umahon din si Gotham sa pool upang makikain sa amin ng anak niya. Sinubuan ako ni Voight ng prutas, samantalang hindi naman niya pinansin ang hinaing ng ama.

Napailing naman ako. Gotham is a big baby, too.

I fed him with fruits dipped in chocolate.

“Daddy, you’re big! Eat with your h-hands!” Sumimangot naman si Voight.

“Fili is big, too. But you’re giving her fruits.” Patungkol ni Gotham sa akin.

“You’re a-annoying. Don’t f-feed him, Fili!” Voight demanded.

He was stopping my hand from reaching his father’s mouth. Minsan kinakain na niya lang ang dapat isusubo kong prutas kay Gotham. Nasapo ko ang aking noo sa bangayan ng dalawa.

They were both chaotic. Mag-ama ngang tunay.

Bumalik uli kami sa tubig pagkatapos ng ilang minutong snacks at pahinga. We played. Isinama nila ako sa pabilisan sa paglangoy. Voight had a head start before we swam across.

Natigilan ako nang nasa gitna. This scene was perfect… if only my brother was here.

I was sure, Russle and Voight would team up against my husband.

“I w-won! Yehey!” Pumailanlang ang boses ni Voight.

Bumalik naman ako sa realidad, nagtama ang aming paningin ni Gotham. He was staring at me intently. I know that kind of look, he was observing me. I masked the sadness I was feeling.

Dinaluhan ko si Voight upang batiin siya sa pagkapanalo sa ama.

“I’m the best!” He said happily.

“You are the best, Voight! Second best lang si daddy.”

“There’s no second best, Fili. Daddy’s a l-loser.” He stuck his tongue out.

Pinisil ko naman ang kanyang pisngi. Baka magsabong na naman ang dalawa.

“Let’s celebrate your win. Anong gusto mong gawin?” I asked him.

Ramdam ko pa rin ang paninitig ni Gotham sa akin, hindi niya ako nilulumbayan ng tingin. My every move was critical. Alam kong alam na niya… sigurado ako roon.

He knew how much I loved my brother… it was very unlikely to go somewhere without bringing him. He digged deeper. Ayaw niya lang akong komprontahin dahil hinihintay niyang sabihin ko sa kanya.

Voight didn’t talk about that one time we visited my brother’s grave. I never told him to keep it a secret, but he didn’t say a single word. It was never mentioned to Gotham, or at least, I wasn’t aware that they talked about it.

I can’t tell him… by telling him the truth is accepting he’s really gone.

Hindi ko pa rin tanggap… hindi ko yata matatanggap kahit ilang taon pa ang lumipas.

Balak naming kumain sa labas pagkatapos ng swimming time. Nagdala kami ng ilang toys ni Voight. We waited in the lobby as Gotham went out to get the car. I let Voight play while waiting for his daddy.

“You’re still here, huh?! You have the fucking audacity to come here with no remorse!” Nag-angat ako ng paningin upang tingnan ang pinagmulan ng boses.

Akala ko kasama iyon sa taping ng isang pelikula. But it was directed at me. Tiningnan kong mabuti ang babae para alalahanin kung sino ito at anong ambag sa buhay ko.

Ah, iyong kusintidor na magulang.

Voight came running at me. “There’s your little devil.”

Tinakpan ko ang tainga ni Voight upang hindi niya marinig ang komento ng babae.

“He’s not a little devil, mind your words, ma’am. Because I can be that devil. You should look up my name in the precinct, so you would know what I can do.” I smiled tauntingly.

Her eyes looked at me with horror, but she tried to recover. Maybe, she thought I was bluffing. Umiling naman ako. Hindi ko na pinansin ang babae, inaliw ko na lang si Voight. The woman’s presence was clearly upsetting him.

She was about to say something, Gotham arrived at the scene.

He looked at the woman from head to toe with clear judgement in his eyes.

“Is this woman bothering you two?” His tone was dangerous.

“It’s not what you think…” She tried to say.

“Yes,” I answered. “Will you please remove her from the vicinity? Naiirita ako sa presensya niya.”

So, he did.

Tumawag siya ng guard ng building, pinaalis niya ang babae sa harap namin. If I were her, I wouldn’t do anything stupid. Sure, mayaman siya. She and her family could afford to live in this fancy building… but she shouldn’t dare with the likes of Gotham Wolfgang Arkinson.

He’s a different breed. Even his son could buy them.

In a snap, he could take their privileges away.

“That’s the mother of the kid… iyong nagreklamo sa amin ni Voight sa management.”

Tumayo akong buhat si Voight. He didn’t want to walk now. Hindi na ako madalas na nakakapag-ehersisyo simula nang lumabas ako ng kulungan. Tanging si Voight ang nagsisilbing ehersisyo ko.

“Daddy, I don’t l-like them here…”

Humawak siya kay Gotham. He was trying to get him, ayaw namang sumama ni Voight sa kanya.

Ayan na, isang hiling pa naman ni Voight, binibigay agad ng ama.

One thing that he can’t give him is… a mother.

“Kayong dalawa… I’m sure, takot na iyon.”

“She’s being m-mean to you, Fili,” saad pa niya.

“It’s okay. I can defend myself, Voight. You don’t have worry about me.” I caressed his cheeks.

“I’m not w-worried!” He shook his head, trying not to make any eye contact.

Sumang-ayon naman ako. The job’s easier with agreeing, and not arguing with Voight. Gusto ko nang tahimik na buhay, palagi naman silang nag-aaway na mag-ama.

Umakbay sa akin si Gotham patungo sa sasakyan.

***

Sinalubong kami ng mga bata. Badiday and friends were also dining at El Toro. Doon kami dinala ni Gotham, mayroon yatang selebrasyon ang magkakaibigan. There were lots of familiar faces in the place.

Nauna na kami sa loob dahil hindi makapaghintay ang alaga ko. Voight introduced me to Freedom, who introduced me to his mom, Justise… Priam’s wife… and Voight’s alleged girlfriend. Ayaw niyang tanggaping asawa iyon ni Priam. Friendly ang babae, hindi nga lang kami magkaintindihang dalawa.

Ilang taon nga akong nawala, hindi ko akalaing mag-aasawa ang mga lalaki.

Pag-ibig nga naman. Kahit ang masasamang tao, tinatablan…

I met Aramis with her son, Volcan. Tinanong ko siya sa recipe ng sandwich niya, iyon ang hiningi sa akin ni Voight noong mga paunang araw. She happily gave me the recipes of Voight’s favorite meals.

Nang magkita si Jianyu at Voight, agad na umaktong nag-wrestling ang dalawa. Ganoon yata talaga ang kanilang batian. Ngumisi si Jianyu nang makita ako.

Lumapit siya sa akin, inilahad niya ang kamay. “It’s nice to see you back. Is it for good?”

Hindi pa man ako nakakasagot, pumagitna sa aming dalawa si Voight. Inalis niya sa harap ko ang kamay na nakalahad ni Jianyu. Tumawa naman ang lalaki sa inasta ng bata.

Pumantay siya sa bata. “Oh, you think I’m going to steal your mommy away from you?” His brow rose. “I will. I will take your mommy, little man.”

Balak pa yata niyang magpaiyak ng bata.

Umamba naman ang suntok si Voight dito.

“Shut up, Xu.” I heard Gotham’s baritone voice. Pumulupot ang kanyang braso sa aking baywang. “You’re the biggest instigator.”

Xu just laughed. Iniwan niya kami, sina Badiday naman ang kanyang ginulo. I just shook my head. Hindi pa rin ako binitiwan ni Gotham, mas lalong humigpit ang kanyang hawak sa akin… para bang ayaw na akong pakawalan sa pangalawang pagkakataon.

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